The viewing

On Friday evening, we had the viewing at the funeral home.  The viewing had been all afternoon and several had already come, but our family was there for only 1 1/2 hours.  Dad wouldn't last much longer than that.

Dad and I went in first.  I wrapped my arms around him and we wept.

"She's just so beautiful" he said.

Ok, I know some people might find it offensive to show someone who has passed away.  I think maybe especially the younger generation.  It is something that my mother's family does.  We always have taken photos of the one who has died with the rest of the family.  But some people find it odd.

Mom remembered that when her grandmother died, they brought her body to the living room of the home for the viewing.  Al remembers that they did that with his grandfather too.

Did you know that in the Victorian era, people would pose the dead person with the rest of the family?  The last child in this picture below is dead, but was placed in the picture.  Read about it in this article.  You will find strange pictures.

Many friends and family came by to offer condolences.

There were many beautiful flowers!

These 2 were from the church in Japan and from special friends from there too.

And this one was from my Bible study group.

The flowers matched the spray on the casket!

He is so faithful!

It has been 3 weeks already since we buried Mom.  I need to get caught up on blogging.  With her death and with Christmas, with cleaning out Mom's duplex, my hours have been quite full!

* * * * * * * * *

Jill helped me prepare the duplex for my uncles who were coming from Ohio for their sister's funeral. I went to Wichita to pick them up.  They had come on 2 different flights with a couple of hours between them.  

                                    

When Uncle Mahlon got off the plane, I gave in to the tears.  He reminded me of Mom so much! Here's a picture of Uncle Wally and Uncle Mahlon with my mother.  You can tell they are siblings!

 We just held on to eachother as we went to the car.  What a comfort he was to me!  And what a trooper!  He agreed to help me do some Christmas shopping in the city while we waited for Uncle Wally and Aunt Wanda's flight to come in. I really didn't want to even think about Christmas, but knew that it wouldn't do not to celebrate Christ's birth with the children.

You would think that Christmas is a terribly bad time to be having a funeral.  And in a way, yes. There is so much to do for Christmas preparation, and it did simplify my plans for that holiday this year for sure.  But we saw God's guidance and His going before us each step of the way!  We could not argue His timing.  I can only trust in His goodness.

As Mom lay in her bed getting weaker, she said, 

"God is so faithful.  He's just so faithful!"

Before our trip to California, I took Mom over to sign her up for assisted living and the lady in charge was not available at that time.  But we knew there was a waiting list.  We ran into the guy in charge of health care and he told us that they happened to have 2 rooms open, one now, and one the next day or two.  If we wanted, we could move mom there until a room in assisted became available.  That way, I could feel better about going to California with her having 24/7 care.  First off, rarely are there any rooms available on the day you want to move in.  There is usually a waiting list!  The fact that we ran into Blair and that a room was there (3 others had looked at it and decided not to take it), that was God walking before us.

                                                 

The fact that Adam's sister Stacy was here visiting was another God thing.  It allowed Jill to spend lots of time with Grandma that last week.  She was a comfort to mom and to me too.  My daughter Mindy also came often and was with Mom and calling me about her.  My brother came down too.   Blessings.

In California, while Al was in meetings, I took along pictures and worked on Mom's story and a power point presention for the upcoming "someday we'll have a funeral" but thinking it might be a year still.   I just hadn't had time to work on it at home, but here was uninterrupted time to do it.  I had no idea it would be used in a little over a week's time! 

                                   

I also worked on our Christmas letter and addressed Christmas cards.  There would not have been anytime for that if we had not made this trip!  And my mother insisted I not cancel this trip and she told me to enjoy myself.  She told the girls, "Tell your mother not to hurry back."  I would have had I known.

And the fact that both Josh and Mindy happened to come visit 

on the day Mom died.  

We had no idea she would go that day.  

But God blessed our family with that special time.

Yes, Mom, God is so faithful,  He's just so very faithful!

After picking up Uncle Wally's, we drove to Mom's duplex.  We wheeled Dad over from health care.  Mom's neighbor had made soup in a crock pot and placed it there, all ready for our dinner that night.  It was delicious!!!  We all wanted her recipe, so I am passing it on:

Midwest Chowder
1 1/2 - 2 cups diced potatoes
2 cups sliced carrots
1 cup sliced celery
1/4 cups diced onion
2 cups water
Cook vegetables in water.

1/4 cup flour
2 cups milk
8 oz. Velveeta (or 2 cups shredded cheese)
1 can corn (or frozen)
some sausage, ground beef or chicken
Add milk and flour, stirring occasionally.  Add cheese - do not let it boil.  Add cooked meat.  Cook in a slow cooker if you want.  It takes less watching or stirring.

Wouldn't this be good in a bread bowl?

 


While I was gone to Wichita, Marilyn and all the ladies from my Bible study had brought food and more food and more food to the house.  Allen was home to receive it all.

Pies, casseroles, soups, rolls, crackers and cheese.

Over this entire week (and more) I did not have to cook once!!  What a blessing all that food was for our family!  The last thing I wanted to have to think about was what to cook for the clan during this time!  We were overwhelmed with the kindness!

You can tell what fun my mom's brothers are.  We laughed and laughed!

What a blessing!

What a faithful God and faithful friends and family!

The day

Dec. 15 - the day Mom died

The 15th of December is the day Al and I got engaged.  1974.  

Now we will remember it for another reason too.

I had spent the night with Mom.  They would regularly come in to give her medicine or to change her position.  And Mom would always say "Thank you."

Dad came to the room shortly after his breakfast.

 I would at times go over to kiss Mom or to speak to her.  "Dad, would you like to give Mom a kiss?"  The nurse said "We can make it happen!"  They helped lift him up and bend over.  It was so sweet.  I'm disappointed that the picture didn't turn out.

Jill called me and told me that Josh was on his way!  

 Mindy decided not to take an evening shift and came too.

 It was a precious time for our family.  Mindy made a run for us - Applebees.

 Cute pose, Min.  Then Jill made a silly face too.  We needed some laughter.

Mom's friends came throughout the day to say goodbye.  Others came just to visit, not knowing how serious the situation had become.  Mom's pastors came, along with the chaplain, a good friend.  Most of the day, Mom was not conscious any more.  But we had signals that she could tell who might be there or what was being said.

We sang.  We prayed.  We laughed. We cried.

We were supposed to go to a Christmas party that evening, but of course we didn't.

Dad was holding Mom's hand and all of a sudden, he looked up.

"Oh, that's beautiful" he said.  

He told us that Mom had just squeezed his hand.

I would tell stories about Mom.  

Like the time when she was a young girl and she and her sister (or friend, can't recall) came across some boys who were skinny dipping.  They stole the boys' clothes and hid them!

My mother was full of pranks all throughout her life.

That evening just after 9, with all of us by her side, she breathed her last.

But as Dwight L. Moody once said, "Don't let anyone tell you I am dead.  I will be more alive than ever!"  I know you are Mom!  I wonder if they allow pranks in heaven?

Flight home

What a wonderful time we had had with our dear friends.

Thank you so much!!!

  

I did not sleep well.  

(the bed was comfortable!  but I kept praying through the night.)  

For His peace.  

     For His hand on Mom's life. 

           For the family. 

                For the flight home.

Don drove us to the airport and we were off.

 You can see Point Loma where Kathy took us that first evening, where we saw the submarine.

Good-bye San Diego!

These next pictures are for my friend, Connie, who hates to fly.

The Grand Canyon

it sort of looks like the east coast of America!

One thing I wish for, that I know there is technology for, is for a tv/computer in front of your seat where you can ask to see what you are looking at.  I often wish I knew what mountain I am looking at, or what city is below me.  They could even have a touch screen where you can find out history about the mountain or the town.  I am sure I am not the only nerd out there who would be interested in that!  

I often don't like the movies/tv shows that are available.  The last flight we were on showed a program that was so very inappropriate for little eyes to see, much less grown people!   It really was filthy.  You can't help but see glimpses, even if you have your nose in a book or out the window.  G rated only please on the planes!   Anyone from the airlines reading this?!   (sorry - kind of got on a soap box there!)

It was snowing and icy in Denver, so we had to have the plane de-iced.

We made it back to town and drove straight to the home.

God graciously allowed my mother to live until I got there.

I spent the night with her.  

Spoke to her; kissed her; hugged; loved on her.

Told her what a wonderful mother she had been.

 She was not able to say much.  She opened her eyes and at one point looked clearly at me and said "Oh my!"  And gave me a smile.  But she was medicated as she was having trouble breathing, causing anxiety.  So mostly she was not coherant.  I was so grateful to the Lord for giving me this time!

Bad news

In the morning while I was writing in my journal and having my devotions, I realized that the date was 12-13-14!  Don and Kathy had plans to go watch the navy/army game.  They had invited us to go along, but we thought it was a great moment for us to go visit our sister-in-law.   

Pat was married to Al's brother.  Harley passed away in 2007 and instead of a regular funeral, Pat rented a boat and his ashes were thrown at sea, per Harley's request.

Pat is now with a guy named Alan, who is also a pharmacist, like my Allen.

When we got to their home, they had a nice welcome for us.

And because they heard I had dog-phobia, they put their "sweet" doggie outside just for me!

I am so glad!  He is a rotweiler!!  I know they say he'd just lick you to death, but that's just it, right?? I was so grateful for their kindness and compassion although they must have thought me a wuss!  At one point, he even knocked Pat over and she needed help getting up.  That is one BIG dog!!

Alan has a hobby.  He likes to do reinactment of the medieval ages.  This is his suit of armor!  He had several swords around the house. 

They took us out to eat at an Italian hole-in-the-wall.

 

After delicious Italian food, they took us to the top of Mt. Helix, overlooking LaMesa/San Diego.  You can see into Mexico.

 There is this house that revolves!

 Wouldn't that be cool?  I'd set it so that during the day, my living room would overlook the city, then at night, my bedroom would see the lights of the city.  

After we got back, we said our good-byes.  Luckily, they held the dog back for me.  (you can see Pat straining at the leash!!)  Thank you!!!

 We got back to Don and Kathy's.  Received a phone call from my daughter, Mindy.  "Mom, Grandma is worse.  I think it is time to put her on hospice."  What??  It had only been about a week ago that we had put mom in health care!

She had sounded weaker, but I had no idea that she would decline so rapidly!  I had been told that her vitals were good and it would be fine to go on this trip.  And Mom insisted that I enjoy myself and not change plans.  The kids had kept me in touch and I had talked with mom each day.  And now we are talking that she isn't going to make it?

We tried to change air flights so we could leave that evening.  But all the further we got was getting back to Wichita 6 hours earlier and it costing $3,000.  We began to pray that the Lord would help her to hang on, if that was His will.  I wanted to see her again.  To say good-bye.

That evening, we went with Don and Kathy to Shadow Mountain church, where David Jeremiah is the pastor.  I have enjoyed his books and his radio program, Turning Point.  They were playing some Christmas songs, including a few secular ones.  

One song they played was, "I'll be home for Christmas." 

 "Lord, please help me get home soon, to see my mother" I prayed.

After church, we went out to another hole-in-the-wall, this time a Mexican fish restaurant.  We love these places, rather than the regular chain restaurants!!  And, oh man, the food was so good!  We had rock shrimp, fish tacos, etc.  Mmm-mmm-mmm!  The son of the owner was playing with his high school jazz band.  They were being graded for it.  Kathy was so very friendly and encouraging to the owner.  She reminds me of my mom, who did not know a stranger.

We headed to the airport to pick up Don and Kathy's boys!  They were coming in for a Broncos ball game the next day!

We see them often at church back home, so it was wierd to see them here in California!

We were heading back in the morning for Kansas.  So anxious to get home to see my parents!